Sometimes you come to me when I least expect you; you rise up out of the dark water, your hand skimming the surface of the pool; broad and pale-tipped, like a water lily, the softest touch I ever knew.

You rise up, smiling, your mouth ripe and wide and alive. Sometimes you come to me when I need you most and know that I can no longer have you. And then I am back in that awful place, the sense of what I had and what I lost banging around in my chest, trapped, frightened; a panicked bird in my heart. Worst of all, I can still recall the sweet,sour metallic taste of your blood in my mouth.